Are You Feeling Smart Yet?

Question:  If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer:  "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

Miss America 1995

Heather Whitestone

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I

cant help but cry.  I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not

with all those flies and death and stuff."

Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

(During an interview to become spokesperson

for federal anti-smoking campaign.)

Brooke Shields

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

former President

Bill Clinton

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

Philadelphia Phillies Manager

Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.  It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

ex-Vice President

Al Gore

"Can I Get a Boniva?"

"Don't Threaten ME with a good time!"

Blogger Extraordinare

Paul Benjamin

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

University of Kentucky Basketball Forward

Winston Bennett

"We don't necessarily discriminate.  We simply

exclude certain types of people."

ROTC Instructor

Colonel Gerald Wellman

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football.  A genius

is a guy like Norman Einstein."

NFL Quarterback

Joe Theisman

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest

crime rates in the country."

Washington DC Mayor

Marion Barry

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death

by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

A congressional candidate in Texas

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective

March 1992 because we received notice that

you passed away.  May God bless you.  You may

reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Greeneville, South Carolina

Department of Social Services