Yeah, I'm talking about you, special button on the elevator that stares at me, inviting me to press you, yet to be FOOLED by you once again!
After multiple attempts in my life to close elevator doors, I have come to the conclusion that the 'Close Door' button does not actually work.
NEVER ONCE have I experienced a CD button that actually began the process of shutting the door.
Yet, in my quest to get where I am going faster, I fall for it's little game; deceiving me into thinking that I am in control!
Grrrr....
Patience, Paul, patience!
You would think that I would just give up and stop pressing the darn thing, right? However, in the back of my mind...oh, who am i kidding....in the FRONT of my mind there is always the "What if?"
What if it actually works this time???
You know the situation: You get in the elevator, and hear your Boss coming from down the hall. You know that you have been procrastinating hardcore on getting that report/project done and do not want to have the uncomfortable conversation. Close Doors, Close Doors, press harder, again, again, press!
Or this: You get in the elevator, but reeeaaaallly have to pass gas. So, you assess the situation and decide that it is safe to Fart away!
Then...you hear footsteps. DAMN! Close Doors, Close Doors, press harder, again, again, press!
I dont know.
Clearly, associated learning didn't work too well with me! I need my own version of a Pavlov's Dog experiment.
However, until that button starts actually 'shocking' me to dissuade me from touching it, I will probably always fall for the 'close door' button's evil scheme!
No, I am in agreement with you. The button is a decoy. It doesn't work!
ReplyDeleteSO funny! I think we've all passed a little gas in the elevator before. :)
ReplyDeleteThe New Yorker ran an article about this a year ago after a man working late on a highrise on a Friday night had gone out for a smoke and gotten trapped in an elevator on his way back up to his office for an entire weekend. In addition to addressing how the emergency call buttons and the video feed weren't working for the poor guy, they also got Otis Elevators to admit that most close-door buttons are just for show.
ReplyDeleteI knew it! Thanks for confirming this, Jake!
ReplyDeleteI don't press it anymore because I know that it doesn't work. I am tempted to press it though, but my discipline wins out. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are too gullible, Paulie! You should know better...
ReplyDeleteHere's the link to that New Yorker article. It's really informative and well-written.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/04/21/080421fa_fact_paumgarten
I've pressed it.
ReplyDeleteAnd it worked.
Go figure.
It always seems to work with me but maybe that's just the normal time it takes for the doors to shut. If it really is just a fake button then I will get a kick out of it from now on when I am heading for the elevator and I see some asshat push the button. lol
ReplyDeleteI've never even thought about this. I guess I believed that it worked because the button to open the doors works usually. Now, I am going to have to try this.
ReplyDeleteHA! This is such a true observation. Only once in my life did I come across an elevator where the open/close door buttons actually worked. If anything, they should certainly work for when gas pressure builds up. I hear you on that one!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a "close my mouth" button. I need to stop shoving food in me.
ReplyDeleteSide note: My building's elevator seems to close the door, when you press the button of the floor you want to go to. For example, you're in the elevator, and you're on floor three for someone else's stop. You hit the button six again (where I'm going) and the doors immediately start closing. It works. If you don't do it, the doors take twice as long to shut. Try it out in yours and report back. Haha. Or not. Otis elevator for life!!!
In my building, I find that if I lay on the Close Doors button, it generally works. Unless, of course, someone is brave enough to stick their hand/arm/foot/head through the space. Errrr. Oh...and Otis elevator men? HOT.
ReplyDeletetruth.
ReplyDeletehahaha! Matt, Behrmark...y'all are crazy!
ReplyDeleteI fall for it everytime, and never once has it worked ;)
ReplyDeleteThat gets me every time too! I'm not the most patient person.
ReplyDeleteVery funny posting! I've passed has before while I was in the elevator, and when I was getting off, someone else got on. Of course they knew that it was me. HA!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it works! That's why people stared at me every time I pressed
ReplyDeletethe cd button hehe
I don't think it works either. At least not the elevators that i've been in.
ReplyDeleteFun blog. I like your writing style.
ReplyDeleteElevators scare me to death! and now, the the truth is revealed even more! :P
ReplyDeleteYes it totally works, how could you doubt that? You just have to push it more!
ReplyDeletePaul, if all else fails, just use the stairs. :)
ReplyDeletefarting in an elevator....eh, classic. i find the button ALWAYS works when someone rushes up and shouts, "wait! wait! hold the elevator!" in a panic, i reach for the OPEN doors and always end up hitting the close button....magically the doors close immediately. OOPS!!!
ReplyDeletePaul!
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one tempted to push the emergency button even when there is no emergency?
*blushes*
-Dean
Laugh! Seeeee I would so do that! Fart in the elevator and people judge me!
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