My Time Spent with Danica...

Oh yes...I knew Danica!

A few years ago, I lived in Rockford, Illinois. While I was living there, I used to work part-time at the Rockford YMCA as a fitness instructor/weight room attendant.

One day, I was working out in the gym and I saw this absolutely BEAUTIFUL, drop-dead gorgeous girl exercising near me. She was working out with one of the trainers, and I couldn't help but notice how 'intense' she was.

Her workout was so focused, and so hardcore that it was putting me to shame!

There were lots of pretty girls who went to the YMCA, but for some reason she stood out! This girl had this magnetism about her...

Well...just a couple of weeks later I was finishing up a shift, just 'shooting the breeze' with my boss Lynne, when she told me that a new girl would be coming in to relieve me that day.

Then, she showed up...

She walked behind the front desk, stuck out her hand towards me, and said, "Hi. I'm Danica."

"Hi, I'm Paul. Nice to meet you."

Yes, that's right. I got to meet Danica Patrick LONG before she became who she is now...way before any racy 'Go Daddy' commercials...

She only worked a couple of shifts per week (which clearly was for the free gym membership that comes along with it!), and one of those was a late-afternoon shift in which I would come in to relieve her and work the evening shift.

I would always get there a few minutes early, but she would still stay exactly up until the time she was supposed to leave. That always gave us a few minutes to chat.

She was very friendly, and personable...

One day she mentioned something about racing. I thought, 'Oh that's cool...she has a hobby..."

She would tell me about how she won a bunch of go-kart races. 'Oh, well isn't that cute...'

Little did I know!

That hobby has since caused her to become one of the most famous female athletes of all!

In case you don't know who Danica is, it's time for you to come out from under that rock...

She is currently a racer in the IRL (Indy Racing League) where she is the first woman to ever win an IRL race! She's also the only woman to ever lead a lap at the Indianapolis 500, the granddaddy of all races.

She is no flash in the pan, as she consistently finishes in the Top 10 week after week!

And yes...Danica is also well-known for her numerous magazine covers & endorsement deals, the most famous being the sexy 'GoDaddy.com' ads that you see during the SuperBowl.

AND...Danica is on the verge of playing with the Big Dawgs, as she is rumored to be jumping to the NASCAR racing league within the next couple of years, to compete with the most talented racers out there!

So yes...I used to work with Danica.

A few months back, I saw her Facebook page and decided to 'Friend Request' her. Clearly she would remember me, right?

Well, I logged on a couple of weeks ago to check on that...

The friend request is still pending...

Hmmm...She must just be really busy, I'm sure.

Also, about a month ago I started following her on Twitter. I responded to a couple of her tweets with very nice, witty remarks.

No response. Guess she didn't read them.
I'm sure she gets SO many responses that there would be no way for her to answer back to them all...

Oh well...I guess I should've expected it. When you get famous you make new friends...and like we all do, people just move on with their lives.

Well, last night I left one more message. Very direct...

"Hi Danica. This is Paul who used to work with you at the Y is Rockford. Congrats on your success!"

And then it came...

I woke up this morning to a new message on Twitter. It said, "Hi Paul. Thanks."

She responded!
(Either she's really bored on Tuesdays, or she has someone responding for her...)

Sure, it wasn't much...but much more than I expected.

Now, if I ever run into her again one day, let's see if she recognizes me...
GO Danica! Congrats on the success! I'll be cheering you on!

Apartment Intruder!

Last night, when I walked into the front door of my apartment building, there was a girl standing in the vestibule.

She was standing next to the intercom, but she wasn't talking into it...she was YELLING! Obviously, she & the person on the other end were having a bit of a tiff...

Ummm...I do not want to be a part of this drama...Where are my keys??

As I'm standing there, searching through my bag for my house keys to get me in the security door, she begins to call out vulgar names to the guy on the other end, to which he is saying things like, "Just calm down."

But she keeps going...

Geez...take a chill pill, mama!

At this point, I figure that he probably doesn't want her to come upstairs, or he would've let her in by now. So, I stick my key in and open the security door just enough to squeeze my way in, and then give it a little tug to pull it shut behind me...this way Miss Crazy cannot rush into the building behind me.

HOWEVER, I made the mistake of looking back at her, because I can see that she had reached for the door in order to follow in after me. She looked a little shocked as the door slammed shut with her on the outside.

Then I hear her yell at me, "Asshole!"

Oh yeah...This is all MY fault here, isn't it...

Look...First of all, she was there to bug him, and why the hell would I let someone into my building to bother another tenant OR possibly do damage?

...and Second, she is not MY guest, so it's not my responsibility to let her in!

So...I stop at the mailboxes to grab my mail, and then walk over to the elevator to take it upstairs. Within this time, some other girl enters the front door and holds it WIDE OPEN for the screaming lunatic chick!

Oh Great...Now she is in the building, and she's taking the elevator up with me. I glance over at her, and she is giving me a dirty look. She said, "That was rude!"

Oh...Bitch wants to fight, now. Ok...

I know I should have let it go at this point, but I just couldn't... So I replied, "I don't know you...and clearly you don't have a key."

She told me, "Why don't you mind your own business?"

I answered, "No offense, but when you are trying to get into my building, it becomes my business!"

I don't know...

Would you have done the same thing?
Should I just have let her follow in behind me?

I mean...I am not a front door Nazi.

There are people who piggy-back their way in the door after me all the time, and generally I have to use my best judgement. If you look familiar, or non-threatening, then usually I don't do anything.

However, clearly this b*tch was confrontational...who knows what she could've done!

Also...what about Delivery guys? I find it VERY odd that sometimes a pizza delivery guy will be at the intercom, and then just walk in after me... Ummm, HELLO!...Don't you have to tell the tenant who ordered the food that you are here?

Look...I have no problem letting the door shut on certain people. I know it appears rude, but really, it's not personal...

I'm so glad that 'Psycho' didn't get off of my floor...because then I'm sure I would've had to listen to them fight and argue all night long! I prefer to watch 'Chelsea Lately' in peace, y'all...

Victims of Sunday Funday...

Aah...Good Ol' Sunday Funday!

One last chance to get together with friends and have a few cocktails before the weekend is over and its back to reality.

A good Sunday Funday doesn't necessarily need to include alcoholic beverages, but generally, yes...they are involved.

Which makes for a wonderful HOT MESS!

For most, a quality Sunday Funday begins with a "drunk brunch," consisting of numerous mimosas or Bloody Mary's. The day then continues on to a house party, or a local bar where you get together with others who are also celebrating. Then, for the "Champions," the day continues into the early morning hours of Monday.

Here's the thing: Once you begin, it's hard to get out! Sunday Funday will SUCK YOU IN like a fat guy at a buffet!

I did not participate in Sunday Funday yesterday, but I got to see the effects of it, which turned out to be quite entertaining!

As I was walking around, running some errands, I passed a guy on the street who CLEARLY had too much to drink. He was stumbling hardcore; However, you could tell that he was trying his hardest to look like he was completely sober.

OH MY GOD...Haven't we all been there before!
Now I know what I look like when I try to do the same thing.

The funniest part is that this was around 3:30 in the afternoon. It was great to watch people's faces as they would also pass him, and laugh and smile at how ridiculous he looked!

Then...coming home from the gym yesterday, around 6:30pm, I saw someone that I know sitting on the bench outside of 7-11, completely devouring a sandwich. He was so out of it, looking like he was ready to fall asleep. It was so funny that I couldn't help but watch him for a few seconds...would it have been cruel to take a picture? :)

Finally, I said hello and out of his mouth came, "Paul, I need to get home..."

So, I walked him ALL THE WAY across the street to his apartment building and watched him walk in the front door. Hey...at least he walked in the right direction!

Last night around 10:30pm, I got a text from a friend that said "u r such a gret friend. i love you very mus."

Ok...clearly drunk.

Then...a few minutes later, the same person texts again, "I am so sad." It was hard to tell whether this was a "mass" text or not, but in order to be a good friend, I called him back.

Yes...he answered at a bar.

Then, he began mumbling on, something about being so thankful for his friends, etc. It was really hard to make out what he was saying, with all the noise in the background.

Then, a long pause...and he just hung up on me.

Clearly, he wasn't TOO sad...

Another friend was such a mess this weekend that he came home, went online, and deleted over 200 of his friends on Facebook. WOW! That clearly must've taken some time...and thought. Well, drunk thinking...

Look...it was all quite entertaining!

Honestly...i generally do not drink to get drunk anymore. Why not? 'Cuz I got plans, y'all!
I have important projects and goals that I want to get accomplished, so it helps me to keep 'somewhat' of a clear head. Plus...I am in my 30s now, so it isn't as 'cute' to be wasted out of your mind as it is for someone younger...

Also, I didn't realize how much else I was missing out on. I live in a World-Class city, and there is so much to do and enjoy! I'm having a great time discovering it all...

Yes...unfortunately, this has caused me to not be as close to a couple of my best friends as I used to be, as they still operate under the same mindset of drinking to get drunk. I just don't feel the need to go out to the same few bars EVERY Friday, Saturday AND Sunday. I like drinking 'socially' and am having a good time with it while still trying to stay within my limits (MOST of the time...he he he!)

Plus...I'm saving a LOT of money and getting things Done!

But...don't think I am judging any of you...that's your prerogative. Do your thang! Just be responsible, y'all!

However, if you are going out, getting blitzed out of your mind every weekend, PLEASE keep updating your facebook status' while intoxicated! I love reading your drunk ramblings the next morning when I wake up!

The World's Best Dancer...!

Happy Friday!!! We made it! WOO HOO HOO!!!

How many of you were able to attend the Lollapalooza music festival this year? I know you probably went to see some of your favorite bands, like the Killers, Depeche Mode, Jane's Addiction, or Kings of Leon right?

Well, the REAL entertainment is found within the crowds...

Hopefully you weren't too focused on the stage, because then you would've missed out on witnessing the World's greatest Dancer!

The hoofers on 'So You Think You Can Dance' and 'Dancing With the Stars' have NOTHING on THIS guy!

Well, if you were too busy listening to Santigold, or the Yeah Yeah Yeahs...and didn't get to see the AMAZING moves from this gentleman, then you are in luck!...Because I have posted the video below.

So please enjoy on a wonderful Friday! I expect you all to go home and memorize these dance moves so that you can perform them out tonight in the clubs!

Love you all!

Bad Day at the Office?

Hello and Happy Thursday to all of you!

I hope you are having a FANTASTIC week...or at the very least, not a crappy one. For those of you having a rough go at it, remember: The weekend is right around the corner! Yippee!

***On a (personal) side note, I want to say Congratulations to my kickball team who won BIG again last night, 11-1! Go Team XCell! Way to kick the crap out of that ball! ***

Anyway...

I know that some of you have some pretty stressful jobs...believe me, I am feeling your pain. Therefore, I thought this video would cheer you up!

Please take a couple of minutes out of your day (for yourself and your sanity) and get a nice chuckle out of this video. You'll be glad you did.

...And if you've seen it already, it is one of those videos that just never gets old. :)

Enjoy!

Need to Cancel Those Plans...?

Today, I am going to share a real GEM with you!

Haven't we all been in situations where sometimes you just don't want to attend that certain event, or you said 'Yes' to a date that now you wish you wouldn't have?

Well, because I am such a nice guy, and an AMAZING friend to all of you, I am going to share my sure-fire secret with all of you on how to get out of the occasion, yet not come across like an asshole.

I have used this excuse 3 times in my life, and every time it has worked like a charm!

All it takes is a little humility on your part...

Are you ready for it?

The next time someone asks why you had to cancel on them, here's what you tell them: "I had Diarrhea."

Oh yes...I'm not kidding...

The excuse of having diarrhea is foolproof! Here's why:

1) Everyone knows what its like to have had diarrhea, or to really have to go to the bathroom. You can't fault someone for not wanting to risk 'messing themselves' in such a public place!

2)Using the excuse of 'diarrhea' is embarrassing for most people. Many of you wouldn't ever THINK about telling someone this!...and that's exactly why it works! Who in their right mind would tell someone that they had diarrhea unless it really was true, right?

and 3) It's hilarious! Diarrhea is such a funny word, that the person who you are telling the excuse to will laugh. Therefore, they can't stay mad at you!

So..I'm serious! Saying you had diarrhea is shocking yet relatable, it's believable, and it brings people's guards down! :)

However, please use this excuse sparingly. I do not give you this classified information lightly!

Like I said...I've used it 3 times, but only every once in a great while. So please, save it for a special occasion.

AND it's only good once in a certain group of friends...Because once you use the excuse, there's a great chance that more people will find out. I mean, this is funny sh*t! Who wouldn't want to tell their friends the excuse you gave them?

Now, that I've shared this with all of you, I won't be able to use it myself now for some time...but that's OK. I would rather share this wonderful information with all of you.

I'm a giver.

Don't worry about paying me back...This one is free.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to visit the restroom...

Subway, You Have Gotten RIDICULOUS!!

I have to mentally prepare myself to walk into Subway restaurant at lunchtime!

Yeah, that's how frustrating it has gotten!

Look...sometimes all I want is a nice sandwich, with fresh ingredients, but I'm starting to wonder whether it's worth it anymore. Below is a typical exhange between me and a Subway worker:

Employee: "Welcome to Subway. What kind of sandwich?"

Me: (as I am still 8 people down in the line...excuse me sir for having to yell over you...) "Hello, I'll take a footlong Chicken breast on wheat."

Employee: "What was that?"

Me: "A FOOTLONG CHICKEN BREAST ON WHEAT."

The employee then gives me a look of, 'why are you yelling at me?'

Finally, I wait patiently for the other 7 people in front of me to start listing their ingredients. When i get up to the counter:

Employee: (holding the wrong bread) "What kind of sandwich?"

Me: "Umm...that's not mine. I asked for wheat."

The employee then pulls out a 6 inch wheat bread.

Me: "I would like the foot long."

Uh oh...Once again, I get a dirty look.

Finally the right bread, the right length, and chicken breasts have all successfully been established! Phew!!!

Employee: "Would you like it toasted?"

Me: "No, thank you..."

In all actuality, I actually WOULD like it toasted, but there is no chance in HELL I am going to risk having the employee forget about my little sandwich in their toaster and leaving it to burn as they start making someone else's lunch! Also, there are 8 of us crammed in this little space already...I do not want to hold up the line anymore than it already is!

Employee: "Lettuce and Tomato?"

Me: "Yes, both."

The employee throws some lettuce on there and then looks up at me...

Me: "And tomato..."

That's ok...she must have a lot on her mind. I'll let it go.

All the while, the guy next to me starts screaming his ingredients over the counter. Please God, do not let the girl making my sandwich get confused and start putting those on my sandwich...

Employee: "What else?"

Me: "I'll take black olives, pickles, banana peppers."

The employee proceeds to put about 4 black olives on my foot long. I watch for a second...She is going to put more on, right? No....

Me: "Can I get a few more black olives?"

Uh oh...death stare comes out again! I didn't realize that black olives were such a hot commodity!

And at this point, the guy next to me has his head OVER the glass case. Sir, please stop breathing all over the ingredients! I know that the glass is pretty much soundproof, which is why the employees can barely hear us, and we continuosly have to repeat ourselves, but please just speak up! Thank you.

There is a little bit of a line hold-up ahead, as the customers in front of me are backed up at the register. However, when i look back across the glass to my employee, she is gone! Where is my sandwich???

Oh...for some reason, she jumped up to a new space on her side of the counter that gave her room to work, yet I am still 6 people deep. I guess it's back to yelling what i want...

Employee: "What else?"

Me: (well...since you still haven't put these ingredients on yet...) "PICKLES AND BANANA PEPPERS"

The employee puts the pickles on. Then looks up at me...

Me: "...AND BANANA PEPPERS."

I swear she just gave me a look of 'Why are you ordering one ingredient at a time? I'm not stupid...'

Employee: "Anything else?"

Me: "Yes, salt and pepper...and mustard."

Phew...finally to the end of this torture. The salt and pepper go on fine, but then...oh no...that isn't mustard she just picked up.

That's....that's...oh no...the mayonnaise bottle!

I try to stop her before she globs it on... "No, i said mustar....."

Too late. Mayonnaise has now saturated my otherwise healthy sandwich.

Me: "I wanted mustard."

The employee glares at me with a look of, 'Oops. I know I just f*cked up, but you'll eat it anyway, right? Otherwise I'll get in trouble...'

Look...if it was something small, like her putting onions or something on my sandwich, then i would take it and just pick them off...and get the hell out of there!

BUT...mayonnaise changes the entire sandwich.

So, i watch her toss my sandwich out. Now, we must start over from scratch...

Tomorrow, I'm going to Quiznos!

I shove my way back through the line to get back to the bread area....

Employee: "What kind of bread?"

Me: "Ugh...wheat..."

Songs to Pull You Through a Tough Workout EVERYTIME!

Have you ever gone to the gym and were so uninspired that you had to FORCE yourself to keep moving in order to get through your workout?

OF COURSE you have! You know what I'm talking about...

Some days it's a struggle!

I had one of those days yesterday. I picked up my free weights, walked over to a bench, did a quick set, and that was about it for me! I started rationalizing my way out, telling myself that doing one set was better than nothing, right?

All I could REALLY think about was how fast I could get through the workout and make my way over to KFC for some delicious chicken, coleslaw and some biscuits! YUM!

That's when I had to clear my head, look to my faithful iPod, and find one of those "special" songs that can pull you through a gym session....one of those tunes that provides you with an extra KICK, and may even cause you to thrust out an extra rep or two!

I do have a special playlist of these certain songs, but it's always good to find more songs that can inspire and pump you up!

So...I need your help...I am asking for suggestions. What are your songs that get your adrenaline pumping? I'd love to know so that I can potentially add them to my workout list as well!

I don't care how cheesy you think they may be. If they work for you, then that's all that matters!
In order to share and share alike, I have listed 10 of my favorite songs to jam out to at the gym. Each of these dittys have killer riffs that 'rock my world' upon first listen! I've even decided to rank them in terms of how "workout worthy" they are. Yes, many are older, but they still do the trick!

Please feel free to listen, and if you like, start using them yourself!
Best results occur when the volume is CRANKED UP!


SONGS THAT GET MY ADRENALINE PUMPING!

10. 'Love In An Elevator' - Aerosmith


9. 'Getting Away With Murder' - Papa Roach


8. 'On and On' - Nikka Costa


7. 'Up All Night' - Hinder


6. 'One Step Closer' - Linkin Park


5. 'The Sharpest Lives' - My Chemical Romance


4. 'Life Is Beautiful' - Sixx: AM


3. 'The Beautiful People' - Marilyn Manson


2. 'Enter Sandman' - Metallica


and finally...

1. 'Till I Collapse' - Eminem
Just like the title of the song, this one will keep you moving until you are ready to collapse! Enjoy!

Chicago's Interesting Summer...

Man, what is up with this weather?

For those of us who live in Chicago, we are used to brutal winters and nice, HOT summers...but not this year! The 90 and 100 degree weather has been completely absent this season.

And i gotta tell ya...I kind of like it!

Now, i know that this is going to ruffle a few of your feathers, but I actually enjoy not dripping in sweat while I walk around the city.

I know...I've heard many of you complain about Chicago not really having a summer this year. We are having a summer, just not what we are used to. For the most part, the weather has been in the upper 70s and 80s...which is FINE BY ME! I am not complaining, no I'm not!

I've still gotten to go to the beach a few times already this season, and the weather was sunny and comfortable.

It's very nice to not have to perspire through my clothing while heading to work in the morning...or on my way home. It's also great weather for my marathon training runs, as I don't have to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn in order to get my mileage in before the weather gets too hot.

So, overall I'm ok with it.

But I know that many of you want the 100 degree days. Not me! The only time I want to be in 100 degrees is if I am at a pool or beach, and can take occasional dips in the water to cool down. That's for sure!

So you didn't get to walk around flaunting your body without a shirt on as much...I mean, God forbid someone actually get to know you for your personality, right?

Who knows...maybe we are having an Indian summer, where the weather will finally start getting hot and stay this way through November! Wouldn't that be a treat!

Although I generally am enjoying this weather, I do admit that there has been a downside. A couple of our beach volleyball matches have been a little too cool for my liking...and very windy. That was a little frustrating...

Also, a couple of our kickball games were canceled due to rainy conditions. We have seen a little more rain that usual this summer.

But you know...I don't really mind. I like sitting outside, eating alfresco, in pleasant weather, and not sweating all over the place.

I also like evening cocktail parties on rooftops with a nice cool breeze flowing...

So, Mother Nature...I'm not mad at you.

Having said that, this weekend's temperatures are going to be in the low 90s...for the first time this summer, I believe. We'll see if this trend continues...

Now, let's hope it doesn't rain...

My Thoughts on the recent Lincoln Park/Lakeview Attacks...

This story has me pissed!

Over the past few days, there have been 7 random attacks in these Chicago neighborhoods. Reports say that anywhere from 3-6 random men are responsible for the various beatings, where the victims are mugged and violently attacked.

This just SUCKS!

Unfortunately, this story hits home with me for a few reasons:

1. I live here. I basically live on the border of the Lincoln Park & Lakeview neighborhoods.

2. Many times I go to the gym later at night, which leaves me walking home around 10:30-11pm. I also run the lakefront path in the later evenings at times...and although I do not run with my wallet or anything of much value, I don't want to have to start worrying about being ambushed.

3. I know one of the victims. A friend of mine was brutally attacked late Sunday night. He was hit in the head & face with a brick and brass knuckles, ending up in the hospital. He had to get 10 stitches in his lip, has a gash in his head, bruised and sore all over.

Like I said...This gets me pissed!

My initial response to the situation is:
"You Goddamn Motherf*ckers! You low-life scum of the earth! GO back to wherever you came from! I hope you are caught and punished heavily, you f*cking pieces of shit! Karma's a bitch and I hope you get everything that's coming to you, f*cking assholes!

Sorry if that seems harsh...
But it's my initial reaction.

Look...when my safety...and the safety of my friends...is threatened, it is not something that I take lightly. I should not have to worry about getting attacked while walking on my own street.

Now...

After taking a step back, and pausing to breathe for a minute, I want to try to rationalize why a person would do something like this?

The therapist in me wonders, 'What would cause a person to disregard someone else's life so much that it leads to brutal, physical violence? I mean...clearly these attackers have no conscience, right?

There must be a reason. Maybe they grew up with terrible childhoods and lived out extremely bad situations. OR...maybe they had great upbringings, and when forced to make it on their own they couldn't deal with the pressure.

Something happened along the way to cause morals and values to go out the window.

So...after thinking about it, and taking a step back to rationalize why a person would possibly do something like this, I have come to this conclusion:

Those people are the scum of the earth. I hope these assholes get found out and justice is served!

I hate to say that, but look...We've all faced tough situations in life. I don't know about you, but I've had my share of rain, and I have been making it through.

I grew up with a rough childhood, I've been kicked down, and still continue to get kicked down by many...but I can't imagine violently attacking someone. I have been to the point where I've felt so hopeless, and so low that I would have LOVED to have punched a few people in the face, but random attacks on strangers?...for pleasure? No way!

That thought wouldn't even cross my mind!

It's just such a sad situation.

So to the attackers: I hope you are getting some kind of sick pleasure out of it now, because it's only temporary. In the long run, hopefully you will get caught & punished, and you will look back asking yourself why you were so stupid! Even if you don't get caught, you will have to live with yourself and the karma you just brought upon you. I hope you get help for your sick, twisted minds.

In the meantime, please...PLEASE...leave me and my neighbors alone.