Tuesday, September 29, 2009

That is NOT garbage!!!

On a daily basis, I have some pretty interesting Gchat sessions with many of you! 

Some are funny, some are mundane, and some are just plain Ridiculous!  (and those happen to be some of my favorites!)

Here is a chat from yesterday, where a good friend of mine shared a funny story with me.  For purposes of not giving away his identity, I am going to call him "Chris."

Chris:  I have to tell you a story.

Me:  Hi Chris!

Chris:  Ok. So guess what happened on the train this morning? 

Me:  You sh*t your pants?

Chris:  No!

Me:  oh...

Chris:  I was sitting down and had 2 bags with me.  I had my eyes closed and my ipod going.

One of my bags was more like a grocery bag that was open at the top.  I was getting close to my stop and opened my eyes.

The guy standing in front of me dropped a balled up piece of paper in my bag!  JERK!  I gave him a dirty look, like 'what the hell...why are you throwing trash in my bag?' 

And guess what?

Me:  WHAT???

Chris:  It was his phone number!
LOL!

Me:  oh.
OH!
wow...I would've thought it was trash too.
Can I write this story on my blog tomorrow?

Chris:  haha.  By all means
but don't use my name

Me:  That is really funny.  I won't use your name.
But you better check Craigslist missed connections tonight!  :)

Chris:  I don't want everyone to get really jealous that i was given a phone number.  LOL!

Me:  haha
What did the guy look like?  was he cute?

Chris:  that is exactly what my boyfriend asked me when I told him the story. 
He was cute.  but not really my type.
I mean, he was young and hip  LOL

Me:  oh, i see

Chris:  and had a cute face

Me:  how old did he look?

Chris:  but I think my boyfriend would have liked his look more than me. 
he looked to be mid 20s

Me:  oh, so then he looked like you!  :)
Did you notice him staring at you at all before dropping his # in your bag?

Chris:  Well, no because I had my eyes closed the entire time I was riding the train
so I guess he was watching me faux sleep

Me:  I guess he was!

Chris:  I don't know whether to be flattered or to be scared that someone was watching me pretend to sleep.

Me:  So...you're gonna call him, right?

Chris:  NO!

Me:  kidding...

Chris:  LOL

Me:  You at least saved the number, right?

Chris:  PAUL!  NO!!!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Do you KANGOO?

What a workout!

Last night, my pals Stephen, Rich and I had the pleasure of attending a Kangoo jumps fitness class at Crunch Gym. The class was hosted by fitness instructor/personal trainer Mario Jone't Green, and I have to tell you...it was not exactly what I expected.

But nonetheless...it was a great time!

PaulBenjamin, what are Kangoo jumps?

Well, they are safe, low impact rebound sport shoes, providing many great health benefits, for everyone, any age.

Mario is a GREAT trainer, as he kept the class fun, kept it moving, and made sure we were sweating our butts off!
I was just expecting to show up and bounce around for a little bit, but the class was an entire hour long!

I have to tell you...I was a little concerned because I injured my knee last weekend. I haven't been able to go for a run in about a week, and I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to complete the entire class due to my bum knee.

But the Kangoo jumps were a great workout for me! Because of the low-impact bouncing effect, I was able to complete the entire high-intensity class with no strain to my knee.

And did I mention that I sweat like crazy??

Basically, we learned the moves one by one, and then combined them all together into a routine.

I'm not going to lie...There were a couple of moves that I couldn't quite grasp; and there were a few moments throughout the routine where I just spaced out, causing me to get lost. That's when I decided to just jump in place and pretend like I wasn't mentally challenged. :)

I'd like to think that I just created some NEW moves...
Mario, feel free to use these in your next class! HAHA!

However Rich and Stephen were phenomenal, as if they had done this before! They were jumping around, picking up all the moves with ease.
Bastards!

Mario is one of the pioneers of the Kangoo Jumps movement, as he has been 'the face' of this type of exercise here in Chicago. The Chicago Tribune/Metromix named his 'Kangoo Jumps' class at Crunch Gym one of "Chicago's Best Workouts" Summer 2008. He was also a presenter at the Kangoo Jumps International Fitness Festival this year in Spain!

So basically, you need to try this!

If you already have, then you know what I mean.

They are not hard to stand up in, as you stay upright (you WON'T fall over!), while also helping out your balance. They were designed to make you stand up straight, which not only helps your posture, but builds your core muscles.

SO, DO IT!
If you are a member of Crunch gym, then check out this class. If you are not, but still want to try it, then just get in touch with Mario and he will hook you up to attend a session!
And i highly recommend it for anyone who experiences joint pain.
I feel like I burned off a TON of calories...or at least sweat them out!

If you are interested in trying out the class, or for more information, please visit Mario's website, MarioTheTrainer.com.
Or...just let me know. I might just go back with you to do it again!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

October means...HAUNTED HOUSES!!!

Ok...now I am getting REALLY excited!


I am a HUGE fan of Haunted Houses. Actually, I am a huge fan of Halloween in general...always have been!

I'm more excited than a fat guy at a buffet!

Every year, my friend Rich and I scope out the Chicagoland area haunted houses and try to find the absolute scariest ones to attend!

And this year will be NO different!

Our first stop this season will be a visit to the Statesville Haunted Prison. OOooooooh! I hope I get the BeJeebuz scared out of me!!!

See, the thing is...I rarely REALLY get scared, so I need a GOOD haunted house. When walking through with a group, I like to be first because at least I will get those initial scares of the people jumping out at you.

Ooh...So excited!!!

Last year, I brought along a friend (who I will not name, but I should because it's hilarious!) who was completely FREAKED out the entire time. I have to say...it was adorable. It was so funny to watch him scream like a little girl, and he clung to my arm so tightly that I was bruised the next day!

We will also be attending Reaper's Realm once again. This is a very good haunted house, and quite long. You get your money's worth!

Ok, so Here's the scariest moment I ever had in a haunted house:

We were walking through a dark room with a whole group of about 30 people. It was pitch black, so we couldnt see anything. All of a sudden, all the lights come on, and we are looking at each other like, "What's Going on?" We stood there for about 2 minutes, when all of a sudden a guy dressed in regular clothes and holding a walkie talkie comes through the door. He had a very worried look on his face, and was talking into his handset.

Then, he announces pretty calmly, "Sorry for the delay everyone. There has been an accident and if we could just get your cooperation, we are just waiting for the ambulance to come. It should only take a few minutes..."

So, we are all slightly concerned, hoping that nobody really got hurt too bad. Then, over the walkie talkie, we hear "We are not able to locate the gunman yet, but he is still on the premises..."

WTF??? Someone got shot!

Then another 'employee' walks through the door with a warning. "I hate to inform you guys, but there has been a shooting tonight, someone has a gun and for your safety..."

Then all of a sudden, the door is thrown back with massive force, and a guy with a gun is in our room, and fires a shot! We all duck, right as the lights all go out!

Of course it was a blank, and then the scary haunted house lights come back on, and we are told to keep moving...

I tell ya...I saw my life flash before me.

That was the scariest sh*t I had ever experienced!

But what a thrill!
I can't wait to go back for more!!!

So, are YOU excited about haunted houses? Do you get really freaked out? If so, then I want you to come with me! HAHA! I get a huge kick out of watching scaredy cats!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

EXCLUSIVE: Scarlet Bar is RE-OPENING!

Good news, all!

I know it's been a long wait, but guess what: One of our favorite bars, SCARLET, is about to re-OPEN and be ready for business!

I KNOW!...Pretty exciting stuff, right?

As you all know, there was an unfortunate fire back in February that took out our neighborhood bar right when it was hitting its peak.

It seems like EVERYONE was there that Thursday night before, so it was quite the shock to wake up the next morning and hear that the bar was on fire!...realizing that just a few hours earlier, we were in there having a wonderful time!

But alas, we are merely days away from being able to enjoy this great establishment once again!

So PaulBenjamin, what makes Scarlet such a great place?

Well...first of all, there seems to be something for everyone! With the various theme nights throughout the week, you will find a different crowd of people. Second, the bartenders are very down-to-earth & friendly; they will not look their nose down at you. The bar, in general, is a very non-pretentious place. In fact, you can feel the positive vibe from the moment you walk in the door!

According to bar owner, Paul Cannella, he wants Scarlet to be a place where "any patron should be welcome to feel like they fit in."

AWESOME!

I had the priviledge of meeting with Paul C. to get a walk through of the bar, to see it's new layout. You will be very pleased with the new design. Not only does the bar have new furniture for its seating areas (including LONG couches to seat your entire group of friends!), there is also much more space to gather around on those busy weekend nights.

And I gotta tell ya...This bar has got PLANS, y'all!

Listen to this: Scarlet will be beginning Liquid Brunch Sundays! According to Paul C., Scarlet will be offering $12 Champagne bottles...and complimentary milk & small cereal boxes. The bartenders will be dressed in Pajamas/Robes. What a GREAT idea! This way, when you are waking up on sunday morning from your 'trick's' house, you can take your 'Walk of Shame' right to Scarlet, messy hair and all, and fit right in, looking like you just woke up!

Monday Art Nights are back as well! Host Adam Guerino will be heading up a variety of events that include: viewing of Film shorts, Local artists showing up, Live music/bands performing, etc. Sounds delish!

Wednesday nights will have a "Downtown" feel. Scarlet is partnering with TimeOut Chicago to bring in some Bigger-name DJs, offering bottle service, and making it a nice alternative for a place to bring your friends/coworkers and still feel like you are in a downtown club.

THURSDAYS...I don't even have to tell you, because you all know what Thursday is already, right? :)

That's right...It's the return of the original Frat House party. The night where we all show up and play Flip Cup and Beer Pong until the bar closes and the night has gotten away! I know other bars had tried to capitalize on this while Scarlet was out of commission, but our hearts just weren't in it. Welcome back, Scarlet!

The First Ward Ball will be moving from Sunday nights to Friday Nights, so look for weekly information detailing what the various theme nights will be that week. So much fun! The First Ward Ball, if you haven't been to one, is a 'Full-on-PARTY!'

AND...a cool new idea...Scarlet will be opening up around 2pm daily (Monday-Friday) serving as sort of a Cafe/Coffee shop. Adam Guerino will also be heading this up, and will offer a select few coffee varieties, making this a new place to meetup with that friend you haven't seen in a while, or plan to meet a business associate. Instead of going to a coffee shop and getting 'shushed' by the people studying next to you, NOW you have a place to come and just chat away!

NOTE TO OTHER BARS IN THE 'HOOD: If you steal any of these ideas in the next couple of days before Scarlet officially opens, I will make sure everyone knows you are a THIEF and publicly write about your BAD business habits for everyone to see... Consider this your warning... :)

So...GET READY! Our fun hangout is back!

Keep your eyes posted for the official opening, and please visit Scarlet to show your support to them after this time of recovery! You will have a great time in the process.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Why Men Have It SOOO Much Easier...

Men and Women...

I guess it all depends on the way you look at things, but I have to say...I am SO thankful that when my parents were doing the 'Nasty Deed', they decided to try some crazy positions that allowed me to be MALE!
'
That's how that works, right? :)

Look...I do love my women friends, but I am very, very glad that I do not have to go through what y'all do...

This is why being a MAN is better:


*You don't ever have to be pregnant.

*You CAN be elected president. :)

*You can pee anywhere!

*Your last name stays put.

*Chocolate is just another snack...

*You can wear a T-shirt to a water park.

*You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

*Wedding plans just take care of themselves.

*You don't have to wear tampons. THANK GOD!!!

*Car mechanics actually tell you the truth!

*Same work, more pay.

*Wrinkles add character...

*People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

*Wedding dress: $5000 - Tux Rental: $100

*A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

*You can open all your own jars...

*If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

*You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

*The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!

*You only have to shave your face and neck.

*You can play with toys all your life!

*You don't have to stop and think about which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

*You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

*You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th!



It's NO WONDER men are happier.
Did I miss anything? :)


Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't Look at the Light!


Customer: "My mouse doesn't work any more."

Tech Support: "Is it an optical or ball mouse?"

Customer: "Huh?"

Tech Support: "Does it have a ball or light?"

Customer: "It has a light on top."

Tech Support: "On top?"

Customer: "Yeah. It was underneath before, but it looks better when it's on top."

Tech Support: "Ok, try turning it around so the light points down on the desk."

Customer: "Oh! It works!"

Thursday, September 17, 2009

"What Have You Been Up To?"

Since I'm in a bit of a reflective mood today, I thought I would share an honest moment.

I'm hoping some of you can relate, so that it makes me feel a little more 'normal'... HAHA!

I ran into an 'Ex' of mine yesterday while walking home from the train after work. However, this wasn't just any 'ex.'

This was someone that I loved with all my heart...

He was walking down the sidewalk with his new boyfriend. They had clearly been shopping, as he had a "Threadless" bag in his hand. It is hard for me to look the new boyfriend in the eye, as he is much better looking than i am, taller, has bigger muscles, prettier eyes, etc... But whatever...

It really WAS good to see my 'ex', and it was very pleasant. We exchanged 'hello's and he asked "What are you up to these days?"

I answered very casually, "Just working, running, etc..."

But really...

I wanted to say...

"I randomly still think of you a few times throughout the week. Every time i hear a song that we loved, or someone talks about a movie that we saw together, it conjures back those memories.

Whenever I see something or hear something that I know you would enjoy, it makes me want to call or text you, because I know you would love it. But I dont, because that would be inappropriate.

Right after we decided to break things off, I still would constantly look at my phone to see if I had missed a call or text from you, saying that we had made a mistake.

When I think about going on a trip to a city that we had been to together, I remember all the fun we had, and the things that we did...

Sometimes in conversation with friends, I have to catch myself from saying, 'Oh, ___ and I used to...' "

But no. I just said that things are fine, chatted a couple more minutes, and walked home.

It's good to see that he's moved on and found new love.
Don't get me wrong...I am very happy for him. They really do make a great couple!

Sometimes, it's just tough to see your past relationships move on so easily, no?
'Don't you even have the slightest feelings left for me?'

This encounter was so friendly, and so comfortable, almost as if, to him, we had never even been together in the past... 'Did you forget about the passion between us? Did you ever even miss me afterwards? Come on, give me SOMETHING!!!'

Thank you for letting me share a vulnerable moment. I mean, we all have them, right?

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog...

Love you all!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Why We Need a Public Health Care Option...

Since this is the BIG political topic at the moment, I feel it's only fitting for me to chime in with my 2 cents worth...

First of all, let me say...If you are NOT educating yourself on this topic, or at least paying attention somewhat to it in the news, then SHAME ON YOU!

This is a very important issue that affects all of your lives! I can't believe that there are so many of you out there who have absolutely no opinion on this...or even a clue that this is being debated right now in Washington.

OPEN YOUR EARS, Y'ALL!

Ok...

Having said that, personally, I believe that we NEED to see healthcare reformed from its current state, and there absolutely needs to be a public option available.

Let me tell you how I formed my opinion...

My aunt, who is in her 60s, was diagnosed with cancer that has spread to her bone. She is currently on Medicare (which is governmentally run), with insurance in which all of the costs are covered through AARP. She is actually doing very well right now, as she has received great care.

Thank Goodness!

There was never a moment when she was threatened to be thrown out of the hospital early, and not once was it brought up that her treatment would have to be stopped. In fact, she was only released from the hospital when my uncle decided that it was time.

And the best part...She will not have any out-of-pocket costs to pay.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

Through my work, I have health insurance with a private company, a PPO through a company that has a reputation of being very, very good.

However, a few months ago, a co-worker friend of mine had a little accident causing her to get a big cut that became infected.

She called the insurance company SO MANY times to get this straightened out. She had to fill out a ton of paperwork, and after all of that she still ended up paying around $650 for one simple visit to the emergency room.

RIDICULOUS!!!

Our insurance company told her they would NOT pay for this because she didn't call them before going in to the hospital.

What a crock of sh*t!

So, what's your point Paul? Well...I am saying that maybe it's not such a bad thing if our federal government runs a program to supply health care to those who currently don't have health insurance. (They seem to be doing an OK job with our Medicare system...)

I mean...there are many details that have to be ironed out, which congress is currently doing, but for the Insurance companies and their lobbyists to tell us that a public healthcare option would be bad is NONSENSE.

IN FACT...if the actual insurance companies are telling us that a public option is not good, then that just says to me that we SHOULD have one!

I'm tired of these insurance companies claiming to be there for us, but in actuality are only in it for the money.

DISGRACE!!!

But...this is just my humble opinion.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Meet the CALL BOYS!

Allow me to introduce you to Chicago's own, premiere football team, The CALL BOYS!
What an absolutely STUPENDOUS group of men!
'
This past Saturday was our first week of the new season, and guess what.... We also got our FIRST WIN! Woo Hoo Hoo!!!!!!!
'
I'm tellin' ya...These guys have what it takes!
'
Not only did the offense score 7 TOUCHDOWNS, but the defense came up with 4 Interceptions!
OUTSTANDING!!!
'
Here's looking forward to a great season! Enjoy some pics below:

Offense is probably all looking at one of Johnny's song & dance routines.

Go Get' em, NATE!
Make that block, MARK!

ERIC is ready to DOMINATE!


Set....HIKE!


Oh-so-handsome VINCE!



DEFENSE! Aaron, Dave, AK and Dominic after an AMAZING stop!



Adorable CASEY and cutie RYAN!


Sexy STEPHEN and Legs-in-the-air ERIC



DUSTIN and his First Down marker!



Oh-so-happy ME after scoring a Touchdown!


AARON, DUSTIN and JOHN are glowing after a successful WIN!



AFTER PARTY!!!
MIKE and NATE are looking good!

(you want it...Si, that's Yes in spanish...Your mom!)



The VETERANS of the Team!
Paul, Dave, Aaron, David and AK!


In a Sea of tan faces, why is my face so RED?
Stephen, Dave, Dominic, Me, David, Ryan and John
'
Great Game, CALL BOYS!
Let's go out there and win next week too!
'
Special thanks to DAVID J for the excellent pics
and to CATTLE CALL bar for sponsoring the BEST FOOTBALL TEAM!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Could Kanye be the World's Biggest Douchebag?

Kanye West is an asshole. Always has been...most likely, always will be!

By now you've all seen, or at least heard of the incident that occurred at MTV's Video Music Awards by now. Kanye once again has proven that he is a classless piece of crap!

I've never seen a bigger baby.

Look...even if he had walked up on stage to CONGRATULATE Taylor Swift and tell her that SHE had the best video ever, he would still be a douchebag for taking away her spotlight.

I hope that people finally stop supporting this loser and quit purchasing his music.

I mean...I guess he's talented. I don't really know. Rap music isn't really my forte, but the rap that I do enjoy is more like Jay-Z, or Eminem. There are a couple of Kanye songs that I think are ok, but I have never dropped my jaw in AWE of his 'amazing talent' that he constantly likes to claim he has. In fact, sometimes I think his raps sound like he is a little 'slow'. The first song of his that I had ever heard, I thought he was a little mentally retarded.

The first time I had ever really seen Kanye West was way back when MTV was airing the show 'Punk'd.' Kanye was a victim of one of these 'punk'd' pranks, in which the celebrities would usually act somewhat like a real human being, and then at the end they would laugh it up with the rest of us.

Not Kanye...
He was a complete selfish, arrogant, asshole the entire time.

That was the first moment that I thought, "What a complete self-centered jerk."


And Here's the funny part...

Beyonce DID end up winning the award for Video of the Year. That is the GRANDEST award of them all, right? Given out to the person with the BEST video, like Kanye claimed Beyonce had...

If he would have been a little more patient, then he could've saved himself a lot of embarrasment...dumbass!

Of course Taylor Swift had a shot of winning the best Female Video award. She IS the best selling artist of the entire year so far, and since this was the ONLY award she was nominated for, her MILLIONS of fans were going to come out and vote for her in this one category.

Ooh...MTV is probably LOVING this press right now!

But you know who the REAL effin Rockstar is.... Pink!

Sure Lady Gaga is 'out there', and bold...but Pink is the one who spoke what we were ALL thinking about Kanye...

Last night on Twitter, right after the incident, Pink tweeted: "Kanye West is the biggest piece of sh*t on earth. Quote me."

Damn, girl! And speaking of Pink, her performance of 'Sober' was amazing! Knowing that she was probably going to be outdone by the likes of Lady Gaga and Beyonce, she completely did something fresh and daring by performing so high up in the air, flipping around like mad!...AND still sounding really good!

More highlights: Lady Gaga's performance, as weird as many of you think it was, was excellent! True artistry! Sure, her silly sense of style...i don't really get...but whatever, her music and confidence are what I love about her.

and BEYONCE...OH MY GOD...She has to be the GREATEST performer around today. Her voice is incredible, her dancing is Out of this World! That performance of Single Ladies had me DANCING in my seat!

And what she did at the end of the show, graciously giving up her moment to let Taylor have hers...wow. CLASS ACT, BEYONCE! That beautiful gesture makes me want to go out and buy something of yours, B, just to show you that I approve...

So Kanye, while you have just lost a TON of fans for your douchiness, you have helped Taylor Swift and Beyonce gain even MORE.

Thank you VMA Audience for Boo'ing this asshole every time his name was announced throughout the show!

Kanye is supposed to perform on Jay Leno's show tonight with Jay-Z and Rihanna. I hope that audience continues to Boo him as well!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Why I Fired My Secretary

Happy Friday!!

HILARIOUSLY funny story! You will get a kick out of this:


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning...

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word...
So, when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!'

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know...It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday. What do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me...'

I said, 'Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch...But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,

'Boss, if you don't mind...I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok,' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...
Followed by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and coworkers,

all singing 'Happy Birthday.'


And I just sat there

On the couch...


Naked.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

'We Don't Grow Older, We Grow Riper!'

I finally did it...I put my birthyear on my facebook status!

WHAT????

I know, i know...I was born WAY back in the 200-year anniversary of our country, 1976. That makes me 33 years old...and I am not ashamed to say it!
'
Wow...I feel like Tyra now with this honest revelation about myself! I mean, it's not writing how much I weigh on my stomach while standing in my underpants, but still makes me feel quite FREE!!!!

Before today, I only had my birthdate listed on my facebook profile. But I finally came to the point where I needed to add the year.

Why, you may ask?
Well, you know how in the times we live in today, when you are even remotely interested in someone, the first thing you do is check out their facebook page, right? You want to see if they are single, search through their pics, and find out how old they are!

So, I added my birthyear because:

Reason #1: I was getting way too many messages from people who were in their early 20s, interested in going out on dates.

Look...I am very flattered, but I don't want to date someone a decade younger than me, who I have little in common with.

Now, I believe that when a person gets to a certain age, we are all adults at this point...so to be good FRIENDS with someone in their early 20s is not a problem for me at all. In fact, it keeps things fun with their vibrance and youth! But, I DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU!

It always ends up the same...even with the more mature ones...They just don't have the life experience. I don't want to talk about the Jonas Brothers, or how totally unbelievable Miley Cyrus' new video is...

ALSO...I don't want to be your sugar daddy!!! Even if nobody says it, because of the fact that I am older, I am expected to pay for everything. HELLZ NO! I would prefer to be in a relationship where we both are generous to each other, not a one-way street!

Reason #2: The flip-side of the coin. I don't really have an interest in being someone's sugar-baby...

I have always gotten the comments from people, saying that I look younger than I actually am. In fact, just Tuesday night I was picking up a bottle of wine to go have dinner with my wonderful friend Justin. The store clerk looked at my ID, and said, "You were born in 1976? I always thought you were younger."

Umm...why, thank you! :)

I mean, yes...who wouldn't want to live a life where someone is paying for everything for you? What an easy way of living that would be, right?

I don't know...maybe I'm not shallow enough, but that doesn't really appeal to me anymore. I just want to live a nice life with a nice partner who I care deeply for, rich or poor!

So...I added my birth year to my status so older guys can see that I am NOT a young'un anymore, therefore only asking me out if they truly are interested in having a real, honest relationship with me.

Reason #3: It keeps me accountable!

By knowing that everyone else can easily look to see how old I am, it helps me to remember to act my age!

Now, I am not saying 'Be old.'
I am saying, "Paul, live a great life, doing fun things with amazing people, but keep it in check! You are not in a college fraternity, you do not need to stay out til 2 in the morning on a Wednesday when you have a job to get up for in the morning, etc..."

I mean...how serious do you take an old-ass adult, who goes out EVERY weekend and stays out all night? Do you really take them serious? Sure, they might be a fun party friend, but that's about all the credit you give them...

I want to be looked at as more than that.

So...

I am subtly letting the whole world know that I am in my early 30s...and I'm having a wonderful time. I've never been the person who lies about their age; I think that's dumb.

Be proud of whatever age you are!...even if it takes an extra minute or two to get my 33 year old body out of bed in the morning now! :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

OPRAH, You so CRAZY!!!

Do your thing, girlfriend!

As many of you know, Oprah has taken over Downtown Chicago for the next couple of days to film her talk show!

That's right...she does what she wants!

She successfully convinced Mayor Richard Daley to shut down Michigan Ave for a few blocks, yesterday through tomorrow. Now, THAT'S power!

Like all big decisions, some people are throwing a fit about it, while others are happy about it.

What's MY opinion?

Honestly, I really don't give a rat's booty either way!

Look...some people just HAVE to complain about something constantly in order to be happy. I don't get it...

They are blowing this WAY out of proportion, in my opinion. You would think that Oprah had asked to shut down the ENTIRE Michigan Ave for a MONTH, the way they are reacting.

GET OVER IT!

I can say this because my bus route is one that was affected by the street closure.

You wanna know what my inconvenience was?

My bus detoured to a street that is 3 blocks west of Michigan Ave. Same route, just a little west...that's all. A total of maybe 3 extra minutes walking...

Big Deal. I can handle that for a couple of days.

I mean...we're talking about Oprah here! She is Chicago's version of GOD!

I have NO desire to actually go to the free Taping, as I don't see the benefit of having to stand back a few blocks in the middle of Oprahpalooza, and watch it from a big screen TV. I can wait until it premieres and watch the edited version at home. I bet CHICAGO will look amazing when the production crew is finished with it!

AND...Chicago's taxpayers aren't being inconvenienced, as Oprah is covering the cost of this event.

So, let her do her thing! I mean, it's Oprah...a national treasure.
Yeah, she has power and influence, but so what!

Look...if you live in a world-class city, like the great CHICAGO is, then you just have to accept the fact that you will have to deal with some minor annoyances.

Work it, Oprah! Do Chicago PROUD!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Is Social Media a Fad?

Could it be that social media has caused the biggest societal shift since the Industrial revolution?

Could we ever go back to living without it?

And if we could...would you want to?

Welcome to the REVOLUTION!


Friday, September 4, 2009

You Know You Were Thinking It Too...

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they came from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like...I know my name. I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem...


* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call...


* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!


* LOL has gone from meaning, 'laugh out loud' to 'I have nothing else to say.'


* MapQuest really needs to start their directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."


* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page document that I swear I did not make any changes to!


* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle...then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.


* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.


* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day!


* A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the fu. Yeah, if you suck at it!


* Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the 'people you may know' feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?


* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an a-hole from cutting in at the front.


* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you HOW the person died.


* I find it hard to believe that there are actually people who get in the shower and THEN turn on the water...


* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.


* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.


* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


* The other night I ordered takout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included 4 sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least 4 people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatass before dinner!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Alexi Giannoulias for US Senate!

Come on, y'all! This HAS to happen!

Most of you who keep informed already know this, but in case you were having such an AMAZING summer and completely tuned out the news altogether, our current State Treasurer, Alexi Giannoulias is running for the United States Senate!

For those of you who read my blog and do not live in Illinois, I apologize...But since this is something I am SO passionate about, please indulge me.

This is my official endorsement...Alexi Giannoulias for US Senate in 2010!

Yesterday, Giannoulias announces that he is in favor of making same-sex marriages legal, and he wants to repeal the federal law that defines marriage as being between a man and a woman.

It's about DAMN TIME!

Isn't he doing this the wrong way? Aren't politicians supposed to be vague on these 'hot button' topics while they are campaigning, and then once they are in the role they can REALLY let their opinion out?

Well...not Alexi. I think this is mighty brave of him to say!

In the interview he gave, Giannoulias believes that all states should be required to afford legal recognition to same-sex marriages performed in other states.

AND...get this...

He wants to repeal the US military's policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Oh yeah...he came right out and said it!
Alexi is the FIRST major candidate to state his favor of gay marriage...

"This is what I believe in, and I'm sure not everyone is going to agree with me," Giannoulias said. "I'd like to think the public is more accepting of gay and lesbian couples in committed relationships. It could be risky, but it's what I believe."

Now, before some of you get your undies in a bunch, he also believes that churches should not be forced to perform the ceremonies of same-sex marriages.

"While marriage as a religious institution should be governed by people's faith and the tenets of their religion, marriage as a civil institution should be governed by principles of fairness. Civil marriage should be equal for all people and provide the same protections under the law with all legal rights and responsibilities," he stated.

Giannoulias' opponent in the race is Republican Mark Kirk. A spokesman for Kirk responded to this with, "Congressman Kirk opposes gay marriage, supports the Defense of Marriage Act, and agrees with President Clinton's policy of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'. "

Come on, now...aren't those views a little outdated?

At least we have 2 completely different views, and they are both put out there.

Alexi said he believes people are going to look back on this same-sex marriage debate 10-15 years from now and "be amazed we didn't do this sooner."

So, PaulBenjamin...why blog about this?

I'll tell you why! Giannoulias didn't have to freely give his controversial opinion of these equal rights for GLBT individuals, but he did anyway!

I know my main audience!...and because of his views, I will give him my support, and make sure that as many people as possible ALSO hear his views and decide to vote for him!

It's the LEAST I could do...

This is the type of leadership I want in the United States Senate!
PLEASE, vote for Alexi Giannoulias in 2010!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dancing In September...!

Well, here we are...

The weather is changing, the kids are back in school, and football is back on our televisions!

Even though it's not 'official' until the 21st, the beginning of September unofficially marks the end of our summer.

I know, I know...

All of those days of beach volleyball, drinking on patios, and summer street festivals are behind us for another year...
But...Let's look on the brightside...

There are LOTS of wonderful things to look forward to about Fall (Autumn)!

In fact, the more I think of it, the more I realize that this is my favorite time of the year...

Hey Green Day...try, 'Wake Me Up When September BEGINS!' :)

I am taken back to those ridiculously fun high school Friday nights, wearing our light jackets and hoodie sweatshirts, while sneaking in our 'Purple Passion' to the football field to cheer our team on.

Ah...Fall!

We are just around the corner from my favorite treat... a Pumpkin Spice Chai Latte! Ooh...I can't wait!!!!

I am getting so excited just thinking about sipping on this delicious tasty joy! (I also spend WAY too much money on these things, but it is worth it!)

And, of course...FOOTBALL! Whether it be College football or the NFL, I am looking forward to chilling on the couch, watching some riveting games on those brisk chilly days that I don't want to go outside...

Plus...I captain a fall flag football team which starts in a couple of weeks! I can't wait to spend my Saturday mornings out on the field with good friends...
I have to get me some Chicago Bears tickets! Ebay, here I come...!

On a personal note, the Chicago Marathon takes place in the fall, and it's something that I am looking forward to, as I have spent my entire last few months training up for it.

And...you can't forget the grandaddy Fall event of them all...HALLOWEEN!

Oh, yes!!!!!!!

Halloween is my ULTIMATE favorite holiday. Ooh, that reminds me...it's never too early to start thinking about this year's costume. Hmmm....

I saw Halloween candy on the shelves at WalGreens already. Wow...it'll be here before you know it!

SO...there are plenty of reasons to stay in a good mood even though Summer is fading, and as we are approaching the Autumn Equinox.

Now...I need to go buy a new comfortable sweatshirt!
And if anyone wants to donate their extra BIG SCREEN TV to watch the Bears on, thank you in advance. :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Just Be...

The REAL Precious Moments in Life...

You know you've seen those little Precious Moments figurines...

Symbols of the little 'joys' in life. You know...an adorable couple getting married, a precious little girls' first ballet recital, happy children around a Christmas tree...

How adorable... (gag!)

Well, it's about time that someone created Precious Moments for the times in our lives that we REALLY will never forget!