Today, I am going to share a real GEM with you!
Haven't we all been in situations where sometimes you just don't want to attend that certain event, or you said 'Yes' to a date that now you wish you wouldn't have?
Well, because I am such a nice guy, and an AMAZING friend to all of you, I am going to share my sure-fire secret with all of you on how to get out of the occasion, yet not come across like an asshole.
I have used this excuse 3 times in my life, and every time it has worked like a charm!
All it takes is a little humility on your part...
Are you ready for it?
The next time someone asks why you had to cancel on them, here's what you tell them: "I had Diarrhea."
Oh yes...I'm not kidding...
The excuse of having diarrhea is foolproof! Here's why:
1) Everyone knows what its like to have had diarrhea, or to really have to go to the bathroom. You can't fault someone for not wanting to risk 'messing themselves' in such a public place!
2)Using the excuse of 'diarrhea' is embarrassing for most people. Many of you wouldn't ever THINK about telling someone this!...and that's exactly why it works! Who in their right mind would tell someone that they had diarrhea unless it really was true, right?
and 3) It's hilarious! Diarrhea is such a funny word, that the person who you are telling the excuse to will laugh. Therefore, they can't stay mad at you!
So..I'm serious! Saying you had diarrhea is shocking yet relatable, it's believable, and it brings people's guards down! :)
However, please use this excuse sparingly. I do not give you this classified information lightly!
Like I said...I've used it 3 times, but only every once in a great while. So please, save it for a special occasion.
AND it's only good once in a certain group of friends...Because once you use the excuse, there's a great chance that more people will find out. I mean, this is funny sh*t! Who wouldn't want to tell their friends the excuse you gave them?
Now, that I've shared this with all of you, I won't be able to use it myself now for some time...but that's OK. I would rather share this wonderful information with all of you.
I'm a giver.
Don't worry about paying me back...This one is free.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to visit the restroom...