If you have even just 'sort of' read this blog before, then you know how much I love to eat!
YES YES YES!!!
I hate to say this publicly, but food is definitely my comfort.
Isn't it funny how even though at times you can be surrounded by lots of friends, you can still feel pretty lonely? Somewhere along the way, food became one of my closest friends.
It helps me deal with depression.
It doesn't ever criticize or judge me.
It doesn't have a cruel thing to say about me.
I don't have to worry about offending it.
When I am with food, I can be myself. It's like being with a really close friend where all my guards are down. Sad, i know...
Ask any of my friends who have ever gone out to eat with me: I pretty much ALWAYS finish my plate clear!
I just keep eating! Even when I am not hungry anymore... I don't quite know why, but I do.
One of the reasons why I run so much is because it allows me to still eat what I want, yet not get too fat. However, now that race season is over, and the temperature has changed, I am not running as much. So if you see me put on a few pounds, just know that I have been spending time with my good friend, food.
Seriously...it has even gotten to the point where it has become a pet peeve of mine when people pick food off of my plate. DON'T YOU TOUCH MY TATER TOTS! Or french fries!!! That is my COMFORT you are stealing!
Of course, friends do it, and I put on a chipper face, saying "Sure, go ahead..." But really, you don't know what you are doing to me!
I remember one time, going out to eat with a group of friends, and my plate of food was one of the first placed on the table. By the time everyone took just one fry, I literally have like 6 fries left.
That was a sad day.
But i didn't let it show.
Because that would look crazy.
I don't know. I never touch anyone else's plate. It's just something that I don't do. If I didn't order it, and you didn't offer it to me, then I don't eat it!
I have a good idea where my love of food came from. It started when I was a kid. My parents always used food as a reward.
"If you are good throughout the whole church service, we will go to Shoney's for lunch."
"For your birthday, I will make you whatever you want for dinner/dessert!"
"After helping us paint the garage, we will get pizza!"
My parents made 'food' something that you look forward to, instead of just a necessity to live.
And here today, I use it in that same manner.
I didn't have a very good weekend, but I did get a tad excited everytime I thought about what I would get for lunch or dinner (and of course, dessert!)... Even when I wasn't really hungry.
Skipping a meal was NOT an option.
If there was a buffet anywhere near me, then I would've tore it up!
I know, I know...it's not a very healthy way to be, and I know that there are deeper issues that probably need to be worked on, but for the immediate future, just know that if I am eating, then I am happy.
At least temporarily.