Friday, September 11, 2009

Why I Fired My Secretary

Happy Friday!!

HILARIOUSLY funny story! You will get a kick out of this:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning...

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word...
So, when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!'

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know...It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday. What do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me...'

I said, 'Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch...But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,

'Boss, if you don't mind...I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

'Ok,' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...
Followed by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and coworkers,

all singing 'Happy Birthday.'

And I just sat there

On the couch...



  1. HAHAHA!
    I did not even see that coming. Very funny!

  2. At first I thought this was for real about you since your birthday was last week. I also didn't know where the story was going, but I love how it just hits you.

  3. Very very funny. If this was Facebook, i would click the 'like' function. :)

    I just about spit out my water all over my desk. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. LOVE it!! A great Friday morning laugh!

  6. Wow! That was a good start to my day. I always know that your blog will be hilarious on Fridays!

  7. This is so good. Thanks for the laugh!

  8. It took a few minutes to wipe the water off my keyboard that I spit out when I read the last line. But...OUTSTANDING story & layout to get the maximum reaction!

  9. Even though it is Saturday, that story still rocks. I agree with Dash Scott - the layout was optimal for reaction, perfect!

    Hope you are winning at football!