Friday, September 4, 2009

You Know You Were Thinking It Too...

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they came from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like...I know my name. I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem...


* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call...


* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!


* LOL has gone from meaning, 'laugh out loud' to 'I have nothing else to say.'


* MapQuest really needs to start their directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart," all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."


* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page document that I swear I did not make any changes to!


* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle...then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.


* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.


* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day!


* A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the fu. Yeah, if you suck at it!


* Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the 'people you may know' feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?


* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an a-hole from cutting in at the front.


* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you HOW the person died.


* I find it hard to believe that there are actually people who get in the shower and THEN turn on the water...


* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.


* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.


* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


* The other night I ordered takout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included 4 sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least 4 people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatass before dinner!

22 comments:

  1. This is wonderful! LOL. I can relate to SEVERAL. I think I will highlight a few of these on my own blog. It's good to know I'm not the only one!

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  2. I hate it when someone says they are street smart. What does that mean? You know how to hire a prostitute and sell drugs? What?

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  3. Michael, I love your blog, by the way! Very entertaining. :)

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  4. TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

    I love your blog - it makes me happy

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  5. I do think LOTS of these. Thanks for the funny blog Paulie!

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  6. I received this in an email yesterday. LOL.. And yes, I can relate to a few.

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  7. These are great!!!!!!!! Ga-Rate! Why are words spelled differently than they sound! :) Just kididng, that's horrible. Ba-dump-bump. Ching.

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  8. I always get nervous when I have to say my name in a group setting. I always hope my voice doesn't crack, or my eyes don't cross funny.

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  9. I have decided that as of right now, I am not doing anything else productive at work today. HAHA! Love the blog!

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  10. every time i read these i laugh because at one point i've thought the same thing! thanks for keepin it real!!!

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  11. Hi Paul Benjamin. I found your blog through a mutual follower of ours on twitter, and just spent about 45 minutes reading through your past postings. You are a very entertaining writer. Just wanted to let you know I think your blog is excellent.

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  12. It's like you were reading my mind.

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  13. McKenna loves it; we are reading along together and she really agrees with some of the truths you have outlined for us here today :-)

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  14. Who is that sexy man in the pic?

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  15. Paul - truly a great site. True to life and funny (sometimes a little scary when I read something I've thought about too)

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  16. www.ruminations.com

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  17. you always post things I read like a week ago

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  18. Well, pin a rose on your nose for reading it quicker!

    I thought this was brilliant and thought everyone else who hasn't read it yet would enjoy it. Therefore I posted it to MY blog...you know, where I get to choose the content!

    If you don't like it, don't read it. :)

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  19. I think it's amazing how true this is. I agree with every single one. But especially:

    * LOL has gone from meaning, 'laugh out loud' to 'I have nothing else to say.'

    DOWN WITH LOL

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