Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Hopefully, This Will Make You Feel Smarter...

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news.  A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50.  The redhead said,

     "I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

     "No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said,

     "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied,

     "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

     "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"

Second Blonde:

     "Well you better hurry up.  It's starting to rain and the top is down!"


A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45.  The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

     "You know, it's the weirdest thing.  I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a blonde girl painting the walls.  She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

     "For best results, put on two coats."


One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.  He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed the car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"


  1. Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

    So she could keep the refridgerator cold!

  2. These are really funny! I thought I had heard every blonde joke under the sun, but you got me laughing hard with these. Thanks!

  3. Glad I just switched to being a brunette!

  4. Anna, on a couple of these I actually thought of you. HAHA! I love the fact that you are blonde!

  5. Thanks for the Tuesday morning laughs!

  6. I needed a good laugh...the office has been a bitch today.....thanx;)

  7. Thanks for the chuckles Paul!!

  8. You got me snickering at my desk now, and people are starting watch. The best thing about blonde jokes is that sometimes they are REAL LIFE situations.

  9. why does a blonde start dancing at the traffic lights?
    she mistakes it for a disco.
    another one
    what does a blond do when she sees a banana peeling on the ground?
    she says, oh my god, no, I am going to fall again...
    i liked the first and the last one the best. thanks for the laugh~ ta