Friday, October 23, 2009

You can stand under my UMBRELLA-ella-ella....

Have you ever wanted to form an opinion about something, but just can't?  I have found a topic that I am kind of stumped about:  Oversized Umbrellas.

I know...that sounds like silly talk, but hear me out.

Walking down the busy downtown Chicago sidewalks on a sunny day can be annoying at times.  All those people...walking slowly, walking in all directions, coming at you from the left and the right.

But on a rainy day, it's a different story; having to dodge everyone's umbrellas.

Then inevitably, there is always someone coming right at you with a HUMONGOUS umbrella.  As much as you try to go around it, there is nowhere to go...and usually the person holding it doesn't give a rat's ass whether or not they take out your eye as it smacks you in the face!

Therefore, I sort of came to the conclusion that it is very rude to have these over-sized monstrosities while walking down a busy sidewalk!

(Come on, my fellow friends who work in a larger city with heavy foot traffic...You know what I'm talking about, right?  Back me up here!)

But after mumbling under my breath for a minute about how inconsiderate those people are, I think to myself, "Wow, it would really be nice to have one of those..." 


I do live in the Windy City afterall, and sometimes I end up just using my own small umbrella as a shield, holding it out in front of me to charge against the wind & rain coming straight at me!  One of those supersized umbrellas could really keep me dry!

But no...I can't see myself getting one.  Mostly because I know that I would feel so guilty walking down the street with it, probably constantly moving it out of the way for people, apologizing non-stop to everyone that I hit. 

Either that, or I would hold it up SO HIGH in the air so that people can walk under it as they pass, that it wouldn't be effective anymore.

I believe they are called 'Golf Umbrellas,' not 'downtown Umbrellas.'  Which means that they are probably best suited for big, open spaces, like a golf course.  Or a park.  Or the suburbs.

Hey suburbanites, I know you are used to comfort and luxury in everything you do, but please LEAVE your big umbrellas in the burbs.  Thanks!

So, if I did come to some kind of conclusion to my intelligent thought nonsense and rambling here, I guess it would probably be that Oversized Umbrellas are fine in the appropriate places for them.  Or, if you are sharing it with a few other people.

You could just have 2 umbrellas.  A smaller, more appropriate one for the city, and then a larger one for your own neighborhood.

Or a parasol.

You know what i really want, is one of those clear umbrellas that come down on the sides really far.  Like a bubble.  That would be perfect.  Where can I get one of those?

So, what do you think?  Have you formed an opinion about this? 
Am I incoherently digressing again?    :)


  1. I agree. People with golf umbrellas downtown should be shot! Those people all seem very selfish, as if they could care less about anyone else. There is a place for them and its not in the city.

  2. Yes! It's probably all people from the suburbs coming in to the city. They have no concept of 'personal space'.

  3. It's usually black people.

  4. If you don't live in a big city, then they are wonderful. I can see your point, though. Luckily I live in nowhere-ville. I am not annoying anyone out here if I walk down the street with a giant umbrella.

  5. A lil birdie put this in my ear, just for you Paul:

  6. Come to Boston, Paulie! We can walk under my big umbrella together. :)

  7. eBay all the way!

  8. I always have my small umbrella but really wished for the golf umbrella this morning!

  9. I've never understood the HUGE umbrellas either. I have a standard size and those are still too big to walk downtown. People can be so oblivious. Do you NEED an umbrella that big? Really?

  10. Hey, I have a huge umbrella in the city, but I make sure I scrunch it, when people walk by and I'm aware of my surroundings. I got it for free, so I'm going to use it. Umbrella Pride!

  11. usually black people?! interesting comment idiot

    anyway, as someone who constantly losing small umbrellas at bars or leaves them on the L, i prefer to have a bigger umbrella. something that won't immediately break due to the wind.

  12. I agree, big/golf umbrella, ella, ella, ella under my umbrella, ella, ella, ella.

    Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, those big contraptions just don't take up personal space but take up physical space too. How the hell do you fit them in your car?

  13. I agree....I live in a small town that is filled with Chicago people all summer on the weekends, and I will say alot of them have the big umbrellas when they r here...and they are no better in a small town.....everyone should just stick to the normal size, at least when it comes to

  14. I have either a large normal umbrella or a small golf umbrella, I'm not sure which. In any event, it's large enough to be annoying at times, but I sure am happy when I get to the office and I'm not soaked. Thing is, I always make sure to not be obnoxious about it. I'm tall so I always raise mine above others on the street.

    Worse than large umbrellas are people who don't look where they're going with their umbrella. I've been poked in the face several times, even had people realize and gotten nothing but dirty looks. Blame the person not the object!

  15. Paul!

    Well, I do LOVE rainy weather so Chicago has been wonderful this least to me!

    Maybe you could try a bright yellow raincoat and galoshes?


  16. not to mention where the heck would you store that thing?! it would need it's own garage!

  17. I totally agree! The only thing I don't like about the smaller umbrellas is they aren't as sturdy and usually flip inside out...especially with all of the lovely wind we have here! :-)

  18. Having just spent a rainy day in Manhattan last weekend, I can totally understand the oversized umbrella debacle. They simply aren't practical for cities.