Monday, October 12, 2009

Things to do at a Drive-Thru Window

1. Say "Amen" after you say your order.

2. Order a large cheese pizza.

3. Terminate the order by saying, "Remember, we never had this conversation." and then drive off.

4. Tell the order taker a rival fast food place is down the street and you're going with the lowest bidder.

5. When you take your order say "surprise me!"

6. Spell out your order.

7. Change your accent every three seconds.

8. Ask to rent a burger.

9. After ordering say "and once your done throw it out and do it again cuz you won't get it right the first time!"

10. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

11. Ask if there is a warrantee on your meal.

12. Order with the radio turned up at full blast.

13. Ask if you get to keep the bag. When they say "yes" start crying with happiness and call your whole family to tell them the big news.

14.  Imitate the order taker's voice.

15. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

16. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this meal.

17. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

18. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

19. Take a picture of the person at the window.

20. Hand the person at the window a box of pizza and say, "that will be $7.95

21. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

22. Start the conversation with "My order at McDonalds, Take 1, and ... action!"

23. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

24. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Wear a detective suit and pass the person at the window a briefcase and then drive off.

27. Don't say a word.  Just stare.

28. Add "Mc" to the beginning of everything you say.

29. Ask for chicken nuggets without the chicken.

30. Ask them how many fries do you get in a Large.

31. When you get to the food window make sure you are facing directly forwards, say nothing, have a creepy grin on your face, and then slowly rotate your head to face the server. Take the food calmly, slowly rotate your head back, still grinning, then drive off


  1. HAHA! Next time I am at a drive thru and they ask what I'd like to order, I'm going to say, "Surprise me."

  2. Paul, you dork! Funny. :)

  3. Some of these are really good. By the way, Congrats on your marathon finish yesterday!

  4. These are great! I'd love to try some of them. A few years back I worked at a Videostore and we had a drive-thru coffee service. One of my female coworkers had an guy who really liked her. He'd come thru and order coffee. And if she was working, he'd always have his erection out of his jeans for her to see. She always ignored it or we stepped in to take the order. Sadly, he was one of those you didn't care to see in that way. Isn't that the way it always goes!

  5. Paul!

    The title of this post should really be:

    Things to do at a Drive-Thru Window....if you want someone to spit in your food!

    I'm too scared to try any of your suggestions for that exact reason!


  6. I opened a drive-thru Starbucks when I was living in NJ and, let me tell you, none of this would be funny or cute (actually, all of it would be hilarious). I encountered some of the MOST bizarre shit while dealing with people who couldn't get ut of their cars and walk into the store. Just don't hate when your drive-thru person fucks with you back.

    Things I used to do to entertain myself:

    Speak in accents.

    Be incredibly overly enthusiastic and flaming, then act butch when someone got to the pick up window.

    Only reach my arm out part way when someone pulled really far from the window, forcing them to practically climb out of their car to hand me money.

    Set the window to automatic and time things so that it would close when someone tried to hand me money.

    Yeah, it's a two way street.

    The only thing I wouldn't recommend is beeping or backing up.