Thursday, October 1, 2009
I Can Almost See It...
This injury couldn't have come at a worse time.
I have been busy, focusing on rehabilating my knee...constantly icing it, 'BenGay'ing it, wearing a brace, stretching it, doing the proper therapy exercises, etc...
Rehabbing is harder than actually training for the marathon! Geesh!
Every time I apply pressure on my right leg, I feel the pain. I am seeing some improvement; however, I am now down to 10 days away. Ten days til the marathon...and I am starting to lose hope.
I have been very patient, and it's been hard. I want to get out there and start running again, to prove I can do it. But i know I shouldn't.
I'm not giving up hope completely. I am still planning on completing this marathon! It may take me forever, and I may have to walk most of it, but I haven't trained all summer for nothing.
Last year, I learned a lot about myself while training for the marathon.
This year, in the last couple of weeks I am learning even MORE about myself having to train through this...
In the words of the great philospher...Miley Cyrus:
"Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waiting on the other side...
It's the Climb."
I'm sure that many of you are thinking, "Big Deal, Paul. It's just another race..."
To some people, it may be. But not to me.
You see, I started running a few years back because I was dealing with bouts of depression. When I would start to feel pretty low, I would go for a run, and then it seemed like I could solve all of my toughest problems in my head.
Running releases endorphins. I know that running has kept me sane, kept me going.
Two years ago, I made a goal for myself that I would be able to complete a marathon. I did it last year...and in the process I discovered a newfound confidence, a self-worth that I didn't have before. It has become my therapy...
So, you can imagine how awful these past 2 weeks have been, not being able to run at all. I am pretty discouraged, yet have tried to hang on to some hope that my knee will heal itself.
I know it will heal eventually...but I am running out of time. 10 days to go...
"I can almost see it. That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying, you'll never reach it"
At this point, I am hoping for a miracle.
I grew up very religious, very spiritual, but i admit that I have sort of come to this conclusion in recent years that religion is all a bunch of baloney. I don't really even know if I believe that there is a God anymore, and that the bible is full of bogus stories.
However, at this point, I am not above trying a little prayer. If miracles are possible, then I really hope that I get one...
So if you believe in miracles, or the power or prayer...can you please say a little prayer for my leg to heal? I am trying to keep an open mind here.
I am really hoping that in the next 10 days, my knee heals up enough...and that my legs will be really fresh and I can still finish with a great time. You never know...
Which means I CAN'T give up yet. I will still keep rehabbing...I will still keep eating well and stretching...
I am Proving something to myself here! Proving how strong I really am. Proving that I can conquer adversity.
"The struggles I'm facing. The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but...No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it, but these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep going"
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to apply some more BenGay... :)