Monday, February 15, 2010

The Facebook Relationship...and Break-up!

Good morning.  Happy new week to you all!

For those of you in loving relationships, I hope you had the most AH-mazing Valentine's Day possible, and have fallen even deeper in love with each other!

For those of you who spent the day 'Single,' then I wish for you to find great love throughout the next year, whether that be with a mate, amazing friends, or yourself!

However...If you do find 'The One' this year, then PLEASE let me caution you against something that I see all too often: 

The Facebook Relationship...and Breakup!

I am specifically talking about the couples that play out their entire courtship online for all to see.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I understand!  You are with that person who not only knocks your socks off, but also washes/dries/and folds them!

You want the world to know that you are in a relationship with this person.  Go ahead, gurl! That is wonderful.  Change your relationship status to: In a Relationship.

And if for some reason, things don't work out down the road, then you will inevitably change your status back to 'single.' 

That is not what I am talking about here...

Over the weekend, I noticed that an acquaintance of mine had recently changed his status back to 'single,' and I have to admit...something inside of me wanted to laugh. 

I know, I know...that sounds mean, and I wish him the best, I really do.  However, he had been in a relationship for the past few months, and I swear to God...I felt like I was in the relationship with them!

It was taxing, let me tell you!

Every single Facebook status update went something like this:

"My adorable boyfriend made me dinner tonight.  I love you, boo!"

"Enjoying a relaxing morning, cuddling with the love of my life."

"Having a bowl of cereal that my baby went to the kitchen and got for me!"

"Taking a dump while my sweetie pie is taking a shower..."

Ok, the last one, I was being a tad facetious!

These status updates are not god-awful when they stand's just that they happen too f*cking often! all day long.  And it's apparent that this guy has lost any life of his own, apart from his other half!

Also, every picture that they uploaded daily was just of the 2 of them.  On their daily walk, at a nice cafe.  Hugging, kissing...  SO IN LOVE!!!

I'm happy for you, and glad that you're in love, but please stop making me want to Barf at your overwhelming joy. happened.

While looking at my news feed a couple days ago, I saw it and will admit that I froze for a moment in shock:

"________ went from being 'in a relationship' to 'single.'"

What??? What happened?  I thought you were SO in love? 
If I read correctly, that was the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with!

And then I chuckled.

I'm sure in the next few weeks, there is a possibility that the status will change from 'single' to 'it's complicated', then to 'in a relationship,' back to 'it's complicated' again, and repeat...

You know you've seen it!

Look...I want to know that you are happy, and in a relationship. Just be smart about how you publish things.  I hope you are not declaring your undying love to someone that you have been together with for a mere few months.  Give it a little time!  Get stable, yo!

On a last note...If you ARE breaking up with someone, MAKE SURE you are the first to change that status back to 'single!'  Otherwise, you may look like you are the one still desperately clinging on...or didn't see the breakup coming!   :)


  1. So true. Some of my friends were just talking about this last week. People who post all the time about how in love they are make me want to vomit. Maybe I'm just jealous though. LOL!

  2. "Taking a dump while my sweetie pie is taking a shower..."

    Thanks, Paul. I just spit my coffee all over my keyboard! Too funny!

  3. Nailed it! Couldn't have said it any better myself.

  4. I hope I can get a liiiil wiggle room considering yesterday was V-Day and I'm 4k miles away... but not EVERY POST ;-)
    If you were my sig.oth. I would make every post about you Paul!

  5. I couldnt agree my opinion people post way to much info on fb...seriously people, we just dont care.

    brilliant post today friend;)

  6. This is a great post!! Very well written. I don't see why every moment of some people's lives need to be played out on facebook.

  7. Aww, Ryan...of course you get wiggle room on V-day! That is one of the days that you are SUPPOSED to declare your love! :)

    I miss you, buddy!

  8. When I saw the headline of this post I thought it was about the individual's relationship and break-up with Facebook. I've been going through a break-up with Facebook for quite some time now; and part of the reason why is what you talked about. There's not enough self-censoring. Either somebody is exclaiming that they hate Monday (NO, really????) or screaming to the world that their mother has cancer (shouldn't you have called me for that one?).

    I did go through and "hide" about 75% of the people on there. Unfollowing would just cause too much drama.

    I guess you can say my relationship with Facebook "is complicated."

  9. Heavenstomergatroy! I couldn't agree with you more. I have a friend like that on Facebook and when her and her girlfriend got married. They played the entire wedding/honeymoon out FB. "I'm making breakfast for honey". or "Can't wait to tickle her toes when I get home from work." Ughhhh!

    I'd 'unfriend' her on FB, but she would notice and that would cause drama.

  10. Yes! I agree.
    I also agree that you should probably fall in love with me soon! I think you're so handsome.

  11. It's funny, cuz it's true.
    This: "You are with that person who not only knocks your socks off, but also washes/dries/and folds them!"
    Cracked me up!
    Brilliant post.

  12. Nice thoughts and advice It's true that some people think that everyone wants to know everything about them. Not so, as you well point out. Relationships are built on more than having your sweety get you cereal. And they take more to last than proclaiming endless love out on FB. Those who are serious enough will "get that". Those who are smitten by "puppy love" just want to tell everyone about it. But soon, that adorable little puppy becomes a full grown bitch (pun intended) or mean-tempered and territorial alpha dog.
    At least the break up isn't posted on FB, although I am sure there are those who do that as well! :)

  13. Your final thought is so true! Although, I knew someone who changed their status to single while they were still together. After that, they broke up. Guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back LOL!

  14. Paul!

    Yet another reason I'm so glad I'm NOT on Facebook!!



  15. Heart this so much! It's like you are in my head. Thank you for saying the things that I always want to say out loud, but never do!

  16. Paul Benjamin! Takign a dump while he takes a shower? That is so dumb that its hilarious!

  17. I must be the only person on earth with a Facebook. But what a great post! I have two friends seeing each other also, and they do the same thing all day and night I hear from a friend of mine. He calls me up and reads what their posting, and the pictures are even worst! I'm sure their feeling are real, but it seem so Stepford to me. But I see it the same way you do. Very well put!

  18. Yupe seen that happened all too often. One of my friends is the biggest offender in that field! Great rant! :)

  19. Great post - totally on the money! I have started to think that people who play out the relationship drama online are more interested in the attention and drama than they are in the relationship.

    Did you see that youtube video of the guy who paused his own wedding ceremony to update his facebook status. Lo-ser.

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