Thursday, February 18, 2010

Where Is That F@#*!ng Remote Control!???

I swear to God, I'm losing my mind!

I came home last night around 10:30pm after having a delicious dinner with a buddy of mine, and in order to wind down before bed, I thought I would watch a little television.

I sat down on the couch and reached forward to the coffee table where I normally place the remote control. wasn't there!

Hmm, where did I place that?

So, I start looking on the couch, on the floor around the couch, and then in between the couch cushions...


What the heck?  So, i get up.  Walk over to the kitchen area...maybe I placed it on the counter?  Nope.

Did I possibly put it in my Work bag, as I was getting it ready for the morning?  Nope.

Well, I did take my contacts out.  Maybe I took it into the bathroom with me?   Nope.

What the F?

I know, I know...I had one of those crazy moments that you only see on TV, where I took something out of the fridge and placed the remote in there, right? 

Still nothing...

It HAS to be somewhere!  I just used it earlier in the evening.  Either it grew legs and walked away, or the ghost in my apartment is playing games on me!

I walked back and forth throughout my apartment 4 times, and still nothing.  I was getting to the point where I was going to have to start tearing apart my home.

God forbid I actually walk over to the television set and turn it on manually!!!

Hmmm...maybe I should just walk down to Radio Shack and buy a new one?
Damn...they're closed!

I was determined to find this darn remote control.  I thought, "If I don't show up to work in the morning, it's because I am still searching for it!"  Which might actually make me insane...

Frustrated, I decided to just turn on some light music, and fall asleep to that...

Guess what?

I woke up this morning, and was ready for some frozen Aunt Jamima pancakes.  :)

I opened the freezer, and BAM!  There is the remote, sitting peacefully next to the ice cube trays.

Damn!  I checked the fridge, but not the freezer?  Oh brother...

I realize now that I must've placed the remote in there when I was getting out the tub of Ben & Jerry's last night, which I stuffed my face with!

Just another random, idiotic moment to add to the growing tally...!

Unfortunately, when I tried turning my TV on, the remote didn't work.  I am hoping that it just needs to thaw out. 

Otherwise, I will be making that trip to Radio Shack after all!


  1. This is too funny! I think we all have these crazy moments where we do forgetful things. You are adorable, Paul Benjamin.

  2. The ghost put it there when it saw the freezer was empty of girl scout cookies AND ice cream!! It's punishing you hahaha

  3. LOL. I'll add that to my list of places to look next time my remote goes missing.

  4. HA HA HA! You are so dumb, I love it!

  5. I finally gave in and called Charter for a new one. It still hasn't re-appeared one month later.

  6. this is too funny!!! you need one of those alarm devices that you can press and the remote will start i making this up? because now that i write that it sounds completely assanine.

  7. Awww Paulie! Ben & Jerry's will make you do crazy things. According to Bob & Jillian, when you get cravings you are supposed to start chewing on a piece of Extra gum. I'm sure this would've saved your remote!

  8. I love this. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. Well was the ben and jerrys good at least? lol

    what flavor? Mine is chubby hubby..mmmm

  10. I lost my remote one time and could not find it for the life of me. Turns out, the dog moved it and had it in his doggie bed.

  11. My new sony can only be turned on with the remote - it has no manual controls. Even if I could turn it on manually, I'd still need the remote to control the DirectTV. Sure I can turn that on/off manually but I can't change the channels or access the menu. That's why I have a backup!

  12. In the freezer, Paulie? What the heck was on your mind in order for you to put the remote there? Were you that excited for the ice cream?

  13. Hi Paul Benjamin. I just want to say that I love your website, and that you are an excellent storyteller. Do you write professionally? I would love to check out some of your writing.

  14. OMG! Before I got to the part where you found it in the freezer I just knew it must be in there (the refrigerator), because I HAVE done that before too!

    That's not 'losing it'. Losing it is if you were holding the remote all the while you looking for it.

  15. LOL! Very funny! I think you have binge eating problem! Tee hee hee!

  16. You tell a story that many of us can relate too! I can recall palcing my car keys in the refrigerator next to the milk :-) Thanks for sharing.

  17. Whaaat? You can turn on the tv without a remote?

    Love this one. I once found (and clearly had put) the telephone in the fridge and a fully melted tub of ice cream beside the phone cradle on the coffeetable. My ex roommate still tells that story!

  18. There's no way you were home by 10:30...

  19. That drives me crazy!! I TRY to keep all remotes (we need 75 now days) on the couch. Try.

    I stuff my face with Ben & Jerry's too. Cherry Garcia is my favorite!

  20. Oh noooooo! First the pin numbers and now the remote control lol
    Is the remote control working yet?

  21. LOL Paul!

    Like 3 hungry tummies up above, I'm wondering if the remote control still works at this point!


  22. My remote control has never gone missing, but I can't find the bedroom telephone......And by now the battery is dead, so even if I call my home #, only the phone in the living room rings, making it impossible to locate the other one.....ERG!

  23. Paul, all of us have these moments. Don't sweat it!