Monday, July 6, 2009

Nice Cankles!

"Ooh...look at them Cankles!"

You know you've seen them! With the summer celebrations upon us (Taste of Chicago, 4th of July, etc.), an influx of suburbanites have entered the city and brought their delicious cankles with them!

It's quite a mesmerizing sight, really...

Probably because living in the city, we don't see as many cankles...It's hard to get them when you're used to walking a lot. I call it a suburban phenomena because most people who don't live in a city area usually drive everywhere they go.

But what exactly is a cankle, PaulBenjamin? Well...a cankle happens when a person's calf blends into their ankle, just like the picture above. Basically, there is no narrowing of the ankle.

Cankles are the true sign of someone who doesn't exercise...

Seriously. It's easy to be quite active and still have love handles or bigger thighs, but cankles...they are in a class of their own!

Now sure, I will go ahead and make the qualifying statement...that some people have certain medical conditions or are victims of terrible genetics, blah blah...

I remember living in the suburbs, though. It is SO easy to get in the car and drive right up the street to run an errand, when you could've easily walked there in 5 minutes. At one point in my life, I became dangerously close to having cankles myself! So I understand this mentality and will be sensitive to it.

However, now that I run marathons, I know that cankles do not have to be a permanent condition, and anyone can get rid of them! Don't believe me? Then watch 'The Biggest Loser!'

"Well, what should I do if I have cankles?" Easy. Start walking...

Put down the Big Mac and go for a walk! In fact...if you exercise enough to burn many more calories, you don't even have to put down the burger! (It's a beautiful thing, I'm tellin' ya....)

I know, I's summer and you don't want to wear jeans everywhere, even though they cover the cankles. What should you do?

Too bad. Wear Jeans.

That is the best option...for ALL involved. You. Me. All of us...

Or...wear boots. Long, sexy boots that go up to the calf or higher. That way you can wear a nice, summery dress or skirt. :)

And if you do suffer from cankles, DO NOT get a tattoo on your ankle! That is like a guy with a big belly getting a long tattoo down his doesn't have quite the same effect as it does on someone with a nice body.

*In fact, here's a public service announcement: Tattoos really should never go on body parts that are flabby.*

And also...if you have cankles please do not wear ankle jewelry of any kind... Or Capri pants. You do not want to draw more attention to this region.

Hey...I'm only here to help.

Since July has been named Cankles Awareness Month (by Gold's Gym), we should all reach down and pinch our ankles. Go ahead...I am doing it too. Can you pinch more than a normal layer of skin? No? Then you are just fine...

If you can, let's go for a walk. Or do a few calf raises.

We can go out for pie to reward ourselves. :)


  1. I find myself mildly offended by this one Paulie!!!

  2. Awww, pun'kin. You shouldn't be. because you are actively doing a wonderful job!

    Like i said...I was there too, so i am sensitive to it.

  3. Hmmm I'm truly offended you think that everyone has a Big Mac in their hand! I'm partial to chicken sandwiches myself.... =0)

  4. I know some women get canks when they're preggers and cant help it, but I would rather less one less baby in the world than another set of cankles.

    I have also heard them being called 'Hilarys' Sounds like something you probably started, Paul.

    And I'm tired of hearing about this "medical condition." How is it that this "condition" hardly existed 40-years ago and now 30% of Americans are suddenly inflicted with it?

    Cankles Awareness Month....brill.

  6. I feel like I have cankles after all the hangover food I consumed yesterday... I would reach down to check, but putting down my Big Mac and diet coke and bending over would be too much work... I'll check back after spin class :-)

  7. Paul-you almost had cankles? NO. WAY.

  8. Yes, it's true. Before I decided to start actively running, I was dating someone, and got REALLY comfortable in that relationship. She and I would go out to eat all the time late at night. It was not healthy...

    That's why I don't want to see anyone that I love have to go through that either...

  9. Paul Benjamin, I would look under your door from now on... if all the light is blocked out, you'll know that a gang of cankle-laden's has found you. They're gonna getchya! You're enemy number one. Take the long way around Curves next week on the way to anywhere. :) I'm just lookin' out for you.

  10. Hi Paul,
    Funny post! You might enjoy mine, too.
    Happy reading, and enjoy that pie!